I cannot worry anymore. I cannot run any more numbers. I cannot run bills vs income vs anticipated income anymore. I just cannot.
So I am giving it up.
I listened to the latest podcast by Rob Bell yesterday. (Seriously, friends. These rock my socks. I love these Jesus-friendly - but not Jesus-heavy - sermons. I mean, I love me some Jesus, but I know not everyone shares my view.) He talks about what to do with the time we fear we wasted - in bad relationships, in bad jobs, in financial irresponsibility. And how the only thing we could do with this time is give it up.
But, instead, I can see myself sitting in a spot of currently wasting time and energy. I am wasting time with worry. I do not know the plans that are for me. But I know they are there. I know they are laid out before me. I have invested the work and the energy and the love. And I have to trust, as Danielle LaPorte says, that God/TheUniverse/WhateverYourBend will meet me halfway.
A while back, I posted on Instagram that I was playing hot potato with God. The good and the bad. Holding it in my hands and tossing it right back up. Catching and tossing. Receiving and releasing. I am going to bring that image back into my head when my head gets crowded and my spirit gets discouraged or fearful.
Here. This worry is not mine. It is heavy. It is loaded. But it is not for me to carry. It is Yours. I trust, so I lay it down.
Over and over and over.
My Graduation Yoga class is TODAY! The in person class is tonight, and I'm going to leave the online class open until later tonight (I'll send another round of links via email late tonight). I hope to see you there!
And, while you're over there, check out next week's class AND a six-week series I just opened on building a friendship with your body.