I feel like I am learning the same lesson over and over and over again.
I can be both.
I can be thankful and angry.
I can be sad and excited.
I can be hopeful and discouraged.
I went out to pick up lunch the other day. And when I pulled back into the parking lot at work, I was in a complete downpour. Like monsoon-type rain. But right in front of me, the sky was a beautiful blue.
Sunshine and rain. At the same time.
I can be terrified at the knowledge that my job is ending within the next month or so. And incredibly excited to move on and start a new, unknown chapter.
I can feel encouragement from those around me that tell me how fantastic I am going to be at whatever comes next. And I can allow myself to feel the pressure I interpret from that encouragement without negating it.
Both. Not either, but both.
Sometimes it is both a time to be born and a time to die.
I am tearing down and building at the same time.
I am searching and giving up at the same time.
There is struggle and there is peace. At the same time.
Both. At the same time.
Plans. Dreams. Possibilities.The best of intentions. Expecting that one day I'll magically get everything checked off the list of things that I really want to do. And then the stars will align and I'll feel carefree and blissed out.
Yeah. Um, no. That's not going to happen.
But let me tell you what could happen. You could spend the month of May with me and others in your spot. When the month is over, you'll be able to identify what behaviors are truly self-care and you'll have different options for building them into your day. You'll have a foundation of self-care behaviors and a braintrust to help you brainstorm, see past roadblocks, and to give you a swift kick when that's what you need.