rough day. experienced.

Things have been scary since I returned from yoga teacher training. Scary letters requiring scary signatures. So much uncertainty found me cycling between extremes of terrified and elated. 

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I am learning that I don't ease into fear. I react strongly in the beginning. Then overwhelm sinks in. And then my mental list of could-do becomes a list of should-do-OR-ELSE-DOOM and the noise just becomes unmanageable. 

But I know what to do.

braindump with my powerful goldenrod pen.  

new year's yoga playlist on Spotify. 

my favorite sweatshirt. 

get grounded. 

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set an alarm for an hour to put some finishing touches on a few projects. this is not the time for new. 

leave my office when the alarm goes off. 

snuggle into the corner of my big couch with a cup of tea and Grey's Anatomy.

enjoy the play-by-play of Nathan's dance class when he gets home. 

sleep. peaceful, blissful sleep. 

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And then I wake up as a new person. I wake up as myself. Because I allowed myself to feel. Because I allowed myself to process. Because I didn't fight or judge or logic things away.  

I allowed myself to just be

Things are still thrilling and terrifying. But so much more manageable. Excitement is bigger than fear. And that is enough for today.

thank you so much for reaching out to me - on Instagram, by text message, by email. It meant so much. I feel surrounded by so much love.