I had a massage while I was in Nashville. It was an incredibly beautiful painful experience. 

"You hold all of your tension in your shoulders, don't you?" 

"You clench your jaw, don't you?" 

(My car was in park here. Don't worry.) 

(My car was in park here. Don't worry.) 

As I made my long commute the other day, the rain made me nervous. It was the fastest-setting-on-wipers-is-barely-enough sort of rain.  

I caught myself in my default setting. Shoulders up by my ears. Teeth clenched. Unclench, Krissie. Relax. 

I'm aware. And I'm trying. 

But I want to know. I want to plan. I want all of these numbers to just stop swirling around in my head. I want to just be.

I'm aware and I'm trying.   

as I drop my shoulders. Again. 

and again. 

and again.