keeping myself away

For quite a while, my yoga mat has been my home. It is where I go to rejuvenate, to rest, to challenge, to focus. My time on the mat is where I solve problems. Where I get ideas. Where I connect with my Maker and myself. Where I find both energy and stillness.

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But I couldn't bring myself to my mat last night. I knew I needed it - my body, my soul, my spirit. But I just couldn't.

My life is good. I am thankful for so many things. But I can hold gratitude and still leave space for uncertainty. And a few important things are uncertain right now. I was afraid the mat would be the place that I would break down. Would I feel better if I just broke down and let it happen? Probably.

But I'm afraid of that right now.

So I did a few energetic poses, standing on the carpet. I didn't lay, I didn't pray. I just didn't.

Today I will try again. I will begin again. And I will be gentle.

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