i see me.

When I look at myself - actually, literally look at myself - I'm pretty focused on one angle. Straight on. Eye-level. I don't examine my face a lot. I don't check a lot of different angles. I just look at myself in the way that is typical and comfortable and usual.

I tend to do the same thing when I think about my worth, my abilities, my place in the world.

I look at the same angles and arrive at the same conclusions.

I'm okay, I guess.

If I work hard enough, I'll be enough.

If I don't stray from the comfortable, I can pretend like the uncomfortable doesn't matter.

If I don't look too hard - or dig too deep - I'll be able to continue to believe that I'm okay.

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Today, I caught myself in the mirror at an unusual angle. And I picked up my phone and tried to recreate it.

Because even though I see something different, I still see me.

But just because it is an uncomfortable angle for me means nothing. Because this angle is very familiar to people in my life. Yes, I see droop that isn't noticeable at my usual angle. And I'm not that fond of my nose. But these things aren't being hidden. The things that I think I'm hiding? Everyone already sees them.

I'm trying to welcome other angles of myself. I'm trying to challenge my view of me by looking at myself differently. And being honest with what I see. And by allowing myself the same grace that I receive from others.

I'm okay, I guess.

I am fantastic. There are wonderful things about me, and things I'm working on, but I'm fantastic just as I am. Today.

If I work hard enough, I'll be enough.

I have the amount of energy to accomplish what I need to accomplish. Doing more doesn't equal being more. I have everything I need. And I have the energy to produce what needs to be produced.

If I don't stray from the comfortable, I can pretend like the uncomfortable doesn't matter.

Discomfort is where I grow. Discomfort keeps me healthy and happy and growing.

If I don't look too hard - or dig too deep - I'll be able to continue to believe that I'm okay.

I'm supposed to dig. I'm supposed to explore. I will have so much more to give the world - my clients, my soon-to-be students - when I know my deep places. And at every moment within the dig, I am okay. I will be okay.

There's nothing that I can't handle in the exploration, the examination, the dig.

Just me.

And I can handle me.

This is a part of my study of yoga philosophy. Today's post is a reflection on svadhyaya - the study by and of oneself.