I don't belong here. I'm not good at this. I'm not woowoo. This isn't a place that I fit in. Bullshit.

I don't have the elusive it. I'm too far behind to catch up to where I should be in order to get where I want to go.


My voice is small.

Bullshit. Such bullshit, Krissie.

I don't have the body for this. I'm not strong enough or flexible enough or disciplined enough.


I'm nothing special. I'm lacking something important that I can't put my finger on.


I'll never get this.


A year from now, I won't be any closer to making enough money to start transitioning out of my job. I don't have the energy to just keep doing all of this. And nothing is going to give unless I give up something.


I am stagnant.

That's ridiculous bullshit, right there.

I'm digging deep.

I'm scrubbing the bullshit away.

I'll find my courageous foundation.

And I'll begin again.