As a kid, I remember being thankful that the preacher didn't call on kids to give the benediction. My words don't sound like that. That isn't how my prayer conversation sounds. I don't pray in thee and thou. I don't use big words. I just talk. Because I prayed in a different way, I felt different. Less refined. Self-conscious of what was in my own head. As we kneeled in church yesterday morning - in a church style that is very formal and new to me - I was again struck by how different this prayer language is than my own. But it felt beautiful. Still very different than my personal prayer language, but beautiful.
The same thoughts. Same intention. Same feelings. Different words.
I am struck at how similar this is to how I feel about how I coach.
I'm not flowery. I don't use a lot of buzzwords. I don't paint pretty word pictures of where you are and where our work could take you.
And I’ve been trying to change.
For the last few weeks, I have tried to create a different box for myself. I have started taking a lot of notes from the writings of my favorite coaches and superheroes. From blogs and books and ebooks and spoken podcasts. I have tried to figure out how to make my language sound more like theirs. To learn how to craft my sentences to evoke the same sigh of relief and call to action.
But that just isn’t me. And it feels like a lie. Buzzwords sound forced coming from me. I can get away with being intentional (because that is who I want to be), but other than that? I can’t pull off woowoo. I totally appreciate – and am in the middle of my own – growth from digging. I understand the benefits of journaling, asking hard questions, and deep-rooted personal progress.
That’s not how I think as a coach. At all. As a coachee (is that a word?), yes. But as a coach, not at all. Do we get to deep-rooted progress? Yes. But the language is different.
I’m starting to realize that it is what makes me different that makes me helpful. And maybe in a different way. And maybe to a different type of client. But it is definitely good. And definitely helpful.
How I pray, how I think, how I write, how I coach. All of this is my own style. And my style doesn’t look like the traditional presentation.
As a helper, I’m very practical.
This is what you want. What feelings do you want that to create? Try it and see if it does. If so, woo hoo! If not, let’s try something else to get that feeling.
So you have found something that makes you feel happy/good/ease/insert positive feeling. How often do you want to do it? How long does it take? Let’s find out. Grab a timer. Let’s go.
Where can you find time for it in your day? Where else? Where else? Where else?
I don’t think in terms of “lighting up the cells of your being” or “your divine energy” or “the deep science of paying attention.” And, while I love this speech and sometimes really wish I thought this way, I am realizing that I cannot create this box for myself. And I am wasting so much energy trying to make myself something I’m not.
So, with my theme of assured for the year, I’m trusting my gut. I don’t need to sound like everyone else. I’m trusting my practicality in coaching writing and practice. My casualness in prayer. I’m trusting that I am exactly who I need to be for exactly who needs to hear me.
And that it is beautiful.
MyMay starts Tuesday – that’s TOMORROW!
One month. (Plus a few days in the beginning.) We’ll identify what self-care practices you want to develop in your life. We’ll look at the true impact of these practices, how they logistically fit in your day, and the energy they take or provide. Intentional and reflective self-care with the benefit of community support. It is going to be epic.
Tomorrow, friends! Learn more and sign up here!