You know who I usually show you bright-and-shiny vegetarian-at-home food pictures and have a glowing report of the week that was? Yeah, there's none of that.
(Well, except for these Chickpea Patties because they were just amazing.)
Forgive me if I go a little TMI here, but I sometimes think that what my body does is just simply a cruel joke. And I sincerely want to be honest with you.
I have noticed a very distinct pattern over the last few years. The more I am respecting my body with good food and good movement, the more I notice my PMS symptoms. When I'm eating crap and just hanging out? My period just kinda sneaks up on me. But when I'm sweating and stretching and feeding my body real food? I have a few days a month that are almost crippling.
I spent this week in complete and utter confusion about hunger and fullness and when to eat and what to eat and how I was ever going to figure all of this crap out.
I spent a significant amount of time in tears that my latest coaching offering would bomb and all of this work and inspiration totally go to waste.
I felt hopeless and angry and confused and just plain defeated. And I know it is hormonal. I could actually feel the fog lifting over the course of the day on Friday. Nathan and I had a great Friday evening date night. I had a fantastic walk/run on Saturday. We had a ball getting beer and pizza with friends on Saturday night. I got a lot of work done on Sunday, including getting the house clean, prepping the blog for the week, going to Pilates and having a google chat with my braintrust.
Part of me wants to backtrack, you know? To make up the work I missed. To go back and get in those workouts. To go back and try to rebuild my food journal.
But I'm not going to. Because I just need to move on.
I feel like the biggest lesson I've received from yoga and my instructor (the amazing AnneDean) is that I have to respect who I am and how much I have to give in each day. Just like each yoga practice is different - how far I can stretch, how far I can push, what level of energy I have, how much time I need to spend in Child's Pose - my life is exactly the same.
I am learning to work within the capacity and energy I have for the day. And I am embracing that with loving kindness.
Some days, I come home from work, knock out my workout, prepare a healthy dinner and spend three hours on coaching work.
Some days, I come home from work, ask Nathan pick up a thin-crust pizza and a big salad, knock out my workout, and watch Say Yes to the Dress while I play around in a journal.
Some days, I come home from work, prepare a healthy dinner, half-ass my workout, do a 20-minute yoga download, paint my nails, and read a fluff book in bed.
Some days, I go to Starbucks after work and knock out a big chunk of coaching work, text my friends for hours, spend a hard 30 minutes on the elliptical, and throw fried rice together in 5 minutes.
But here's the thing. If I respect what my body has to give me today, it always gives me something. If I fight it? I'm just making things harder on myself. If I listen and respond, my body tell me what I need. And if I listen, I will be in balance. That's it.
By learning to listen to my hunger cues and by generalizing my yoga intention, I am figuring myself out.
It isn't easy. Sometimes, I know I irritate my friends by flaking. Sometimes, I know I irritate Nathan by switching up my plans. Sometimes, I feel confused and irritated with myself. But it is because I am learning. The difference between responding and making excuses. The difference between pushing through and unnecessary stress.
I am excited for this week. I feel back to normal. I am not necessarily excited about the past week, but I feel like I learned a lot from how I handled it. And that is truly all I can ask for.
I believe that it is important to listen and honor what we truly want to do in our lives. I believe that recognizing and responding to those crazy "I'd like to do that someday" thoughts are truly important to honoring ourselves. I've seen the joy in those I love when they opened their businesses, finished writing the first draft of their novel, and made health commitments. I believe that the scariest moment is when we flip the switch from hope to movement. You can start making movement - daily, not-always-scary movement - with me through fortystepscloser. Registration closes Friday. What are you waiting for?