As I mentioned before, I feel like part of my difficulty staying health-focused in the past is thinking too much. Reading too much. Trying to tweak everything so that it fits me. I thought that I knew better than everyone about what was best for me because I am the expert on ME.
But what it comes down to? I was letting information paralyze me. I was drowning in information. And I wanted to do it all. Right now.
Because of that, I attribute a lot of the success of the past few weeks to my decree that I would follow directions. I decided I would work the Precision Nutrition - Lean Eating program exactly as prescribed.
And that was really hard for the first few days. I was resistant. I wanted to do what I was used to doing. I wanted to do weights at the weight and intensity that I worked at a year ago. I wanted to do mostly cardio and poo-poo the weights. I wanted to continue to train for a half-marathon. (It was a really hard decision for me to let that go. But I found that it was killing my spirit.) I wanted to do what I had always done because I was convinced that if I could just do it right, then I'd have everything under control.
But, here's the thing. I'm not in the space - physically, nutritionally, emotionally - to do it right right now. The old right is a goal. The old right is something that I am really going to have to work back up to. The old right just isn't possible today.
And I cannot tell you how much better I feel now that I have let that go.
I am doing my daily yoga as best as I can. That means my transition between downward dog and mountain pose is still a huge work in progress. But it is okay that it isn't the old right.
I spent 30 minutes getting really sweaty and out of breath and tomato faced on Sunday. And I did it on the ARC trainer. And it felt really right. I set it for hill intervals and I couldn't tell you the last time I've been so proud of a workout. It felt like everything that running isn't giving me right now. I busted it without worrying about pace or distance or walk breaks or any of that. I worked hard, felt great, and had no feedback to provide judgement. (Related: I'm going to start leaving my Garmin at home when I run from now on. I know the mileage of several routes. And I won't pay attention to time. I will just run.)
I have started a list each day of what I do right. Where I'm putting in enough. Where I'm working hard. Where I'm making progress.
And that is right for today.
So, on a whirlwind decision, I decided to do a free, two-week series of self-courtship emails. Just quick, 5-minute task for the first two weeks of February to promote self-connection as we ramp up for Valentine's Day. Sign up here!