closer than I think

Sometimes I can get caught up in the "not quick enough"s. And the "I can't do this forever"s. Here's the thing. Starting an business on the side? That's HARD. It is exhausting and time-consuming. I am constantly having to negotiate my time. Do I work on my next offering or do I blog? Or do I spend time with Nathan and my friends? Or do take care of myself physically by doing a yoga workout or cooking dinner? (Runs must happen - this is non-negotiable.) Or can I just lay on the couch for 40 minutes and watch one of the Grey's Anatomy reruns that I have on DVR? (Burke just left Christina - oh the FEELINGS.)

Don't get me wrong, the work that I am doing feels AMAZING when I am in it. I actually do some sort of physical celebration any time I get off a coaching call. It might be a celebratory dance or I may demand a zero-context fist bump from my husband. I know I am in my sweet spot. But all of the things I have to do to get there? I'm a tired girl. And I can get stuck in the "this is never going to change" loop pretty quick.

But things have changed. Rapidly.

Fourteen months ago, I knew I wanted to build my own career, but I didn't know what that looked like. I felt completely terrified and out of my element when I went to Miami for my RRCA running coach certification. And now I am super confident in my ability to train runners to run as a lifestyle and to make ongoing progress. The decision to attend that training was what turned me on to possibilities.

A year ago, I put ILCT Coaching Certification on my five year plan. I made a promise to Nathan that I wouldn't put a cent of it on credit, but I would do it as soon as I could. I was prepared to put all of my coaching profits aside in a separate savings account and slowly watch the thermometer on Mint get closer to the goal. I completed the training last month (without a cent on credit) and will sit for my Board Certified Coach exam in early 2014.

Ten months ago, I opened my figurative coaching doors when I published my website. I thought I'd be happy if I had 5 clients in the first six months. I had that in the first month. Just like any business, there are ebbs and flows, but the slow times give me opportunities to read and grow and plan. I am still nowhere near doing the coaching gig full time, but I have moved from feeling like it is a hobby to feeling like it is a thriving business with incredible potential. (I just have to learn so much more about marketing and launching - and then make the space to implement it.)

Sometimes I feel like I have just been swimming around in circles, and some months that has been true. But every day, I learn something. I learn what lands and what fails. I learn how I react to challenges. I learn how to help others and, in turn, I broaden the possibilities for my own self-growth.

A year ago, I never would have dreamed that I would be here.

This creates a lot of excitement about where I could be in a year. And I realize that I probably have no idea. And it helps me commit to just putting my best self forward - as much or as little as that is on a daily basis - and trusting that my intentions will bring something amazing to me.

Say thank you for what is on its way to you. Go meet it halfway. ~ Danielle Laporte

That's where I am today. Full of gratitude. And pointed toward a dream that is still kinda fuzzy.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.