I've given up some pretty difficult stuff for lent. Meat. Caffeine. Spending. (We're also doing No-Spend Lent again this year, but I know it is doable, and we're doing it as a family, so that's not the piece that I'm writing about.) This year, unless I'm working out or lounging at home, I'm giving up the ponytail.
Really, Krissie? That's it?
Yup. That's it. And it is going to be really difficult for me.
Lots of days, I run in the evening. I shower, go to bed on a wet head, and rock a sloppy ponytail or bun the next day.
I've learned that the ponytail represents some not-so-great things that I feel about myself.
First, I think I go to the ponytail so often because it isn't "pretty." And I don't feel pretty much anymore. The ponytail also shows my lack of interest in presenting myself that way right now.
The ponytail is also lazy. It is me not putting the effort in to look my best. Or even look like I care. Just lazy.
I think it is also a manifestation of my perfection tendencies/fears. In a perfect world, my hair would be straight. I would take the time to straighten it. So the ponytail hides that it is a big, fuzzy mess. If I won't put 100% into it, then I just put 0% into it. All or nothing. Black or white. I need to get cozy in the grey. Accept my hair for what it is. And do what I can with it.
So there it is. No ponytail outside the house unless I'm engaged in a fitness activity.
This makes me nervous.
Let's do this, Lent.