brat

On my way to work yesterday, I was listening to a video. (Yup, you read that right. I wasn’t watching because I was driving. But it was on. Hence, listening to a video.) Marie Forleo and Gabrielle Bernstein were talking about Gabby’s new book. Miracles. How you view your life. All the good stuff. But then Maria said something about how hard it is to stick to her resolutions on days that she feels bratty. They kept on talking, but I stopped listening.

She has a hard time when she is being bratty. And that stopped me in my tracks. (Not literally, of course. I kept driving.)

When it comes to what I want for myself, sometimes I am just a brat.

I think that if I run 100 miles a month, I should just be freaking skinny already, no matter what I’m eating.

I think that if I don’t buy that one thing that I want, I should somehow have my credit card bill somehow disappear as a reward.

And when that doesn’t happen? I get whiney. But I want that scone. And I want an iPad mini. But I want, I want, I want!

So sometimes? I am a brat. I don’t give my entire effort to things that I truly want. I want small actions on my part to have huge impact on my situation. And I don’t keep my mouth shut about it.

Like how I just tweeted that I wanted a frozen mocha from Panera. That was an example of me being bratty. I wanted something. But then I didn’t get it. But THEN I wanted attention for it.

I am a brat.

This type of thinking really helped me out last night. We went to the brewery to run with our friends. There was a food truck there that we hadn’t had before. I needed to make chili at home – both for the money and calorie budget. But we talked about eating at the brewery (initiated by me, of course). And then I said, simply, “I’m not going to be a brat.” I’m not going to expect to get what I want without changing my behavior. So we headed home. And THEN we drove by a brand-new kebab place. We typically would have stopped, but, nope. I am not going to be a brat.

I am going to put the work into what I want. When it gets tough. When it gets frustrating. When I just want to quit. What I want is important to me. I want to be a thin (there, I said it), financially free, spiritually healthy, self-employed person. Boom.

And I’m not going to get there by being a brat. Those habits are going to be very hard to break, but it is easier for me if I look at this way instead of that I’m denying myself of things that I want. “Don’t be a brat” is such a great response to “I don’t want to!” or “just this once!” or “I can’t do this.” I know that we should be giving ourselves positive affirmations. I should remind myself of who I want to be. But when I’m being defiant? That doesn’t shut me up. But what does? “Don’t be a brat.” I may pout a little, but I don’t do what isn’t in line with my big picture for my life.

I want to be a thin, financially free, spiritually healthy, self-employed person.

And a brat isn’t ever going to get there.