to run or to rest

It has been a very long time since I just sat down to write a post and then hit publish. But that's what I'm going to do. I'm feeling I have felt very off since the weekend. I know I'm still recovering from the relay, but I'm starting to wonder if it is just a cop-out. I'm dragging. I had a terrible run with Brooke last night (although she was awesome and pulled me through). My body just totally lost any sense of routine. I don't have any hunger or thirst cues. I could seriously lay my head on my desk and take a full night's sleep. I'm just off.

I have 5 miles on the schedule tonight. The coach in my says to take a break. I'm sore from my 5-miler last night. I'm exhausted. My house is a wreck. I could clean my house and take a little nap before Grey's. I probably should take a rest day to be fresh for my 20-miler on Saturday.

But the Type A/Worrier in me says to push through. I took an unscheduled rest day on Tuesday. If I'm struggling through 5 miles, how can I expect to run 20 on Saturday, more or less a marathon in 5 weeks? 5 miles is on the schedule so I need to crank them out. No matter how slow. The house will still be a mess on Friday and I can clean it up then. I just need to put on my big girl drawers and just run like the schedule says.

I really don't want to, though.

But I will.

Because I am a runner.

(And maybe I'll see a zebra.)