Today wasn't my best day. It was actually pretty tough. Professionally. Yeah. Pretty tough.
I read and read and read. And wrote. And underlined. A co-worker came out and smoked, but she didn't approach me.
My time was up. My lunch was getting warm and cozy in my belly. I went back in the office.
Smoking Co-Worker: I would have said hi, but you were so focused. What are you studying for?
Me: My life.
(Yes, I said that. Yes, I know it is hokey. But it is also true.)
I had some time to spare after work, so I decided to indulge a little. And read some more.
Yes, that is the smallest latte known to man. Or maybe world record cashews. You can decide.
As I sat there at the tiny table for 2, I realized that I have no idea what I want. I mean, I know I want to somehow turn what I love into what I DO, but I have no idea how to do that. I have no idea how to make a real income with my passion and skills. And then I read something that changed everything. There may have been tears.
She was talking about 5-year plans. About how we all have a plan. We all have an endgame that is a number or a position or stuff. But maybe what I need to do is keep doing what I love to do. Get better at what I love to do. And believe that through networking and perfecting my craft, I'll figure out how to make it what I do.
I may not know what I want my professional life to look like in 5 years, or even a year from now. But I do know how I want to feel.
As my alarm went off telling me it was time to go, I scribbled something in the margins, threw my cup away, and headed off to meet a friend.
Again, I don't know what my professional life will look like. But I do know that I want to start looking at my life as one big picture, not lots of little segments.
I want to approach my life - all of it - like I approached the marathon. With discipline. Determination. Focus. Complete faith in myself. Love. Excitement.
I want to look at my life and feel disciplined. Determined. Focused. Self-assured. Excited. Happy.
Even though I don't know how I will get bread on the table.